Attending A Football Match Gifts

Football supporters.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

A man cheers

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"They'd sold out of #1's."

Referee cop.

Football Violence

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

"Go deep!"

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

Red Card - Gold Card.

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

'We're in a hurry.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'