Football Players Pillows

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Player Status.

'Where did we get this new goalie?'

French football explained - 50p.

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Church for sports worshipers.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Fly Football

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Football Chameleon

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

The trauma of losing.

If nobody had invented graphics

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

The Brothers Grime

Funky Facts: Football.

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!