Footballer Pillows

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"I can no longer tell the difference between what's real football and what's fantasy football."

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

'Did you bring the tackle?'

'Brian was dropped from the team after picking up a nasty leg injury.'

Evolution

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'Perhaps we're not paying them enough money?'

Rugby Mad.

'I wondered why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.'

'We scored eight goals last week.'

'Look at him tackling bribery and corruption charges!'

"Suddenly, five minutes into the match, Edwardo goes soft."

"What are the shareholders complaining about? I make less than a Premier League footballer."

'You slips have been watching football again.'

"You can always tell which guys aren't trapped in long-term contracts."

Swanking goal scorer churns up turf.

'There's a scout outside to see you.' - 'Great.'

Is this the kickoff meeting?

"I hear the ref was struck by a missile!"

"He wants £40,000 a week, a £2,000 win bonus and a choregraphed dance routine when he scores."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The corner

Footballers claiming to have the umpire in a bag.

Football Food.

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."

Relaxed goalkeeper saves ball.

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

Bruno Fernandes

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Footballer About to Take a Penalty With Camera Crew In Front of Goal.

Footballer faced with a goal with football size holes in it with different scores at different holes

'Are you a team player?'