Football Star Pillows

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Fly Football

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Punt Cake

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Bears

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Football

Saving a Heart

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"Uptight End"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

Centaur Forward

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I think I've scored.'

Egyptian Football

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

The Goalkeeper

Football Crazy strip six

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."