Soccer Superstar Pillows

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

Football players with The Frilly Knicker Shop on their shirts, "I wish we could change our sponsor"

Football Eyetests

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

Professional football.

Goal

"The manager wants to make the most of our combined talents."

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

A woman watches football on her computer.

"Oi!"

Footballer tattoos

Jack Grealish

Callum Hudson-Odoi

Declan Rice

Wilfried Zaha

Cristiano Ronaldo

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

Diego Maradona

Football Applause

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Soccer coach of the year.

'No wonder they call him the Cat - he gives the defence kittens!'

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

Boy playing football/soccer has his ball destroyed when dog bites it

"If you want to book me you'll have to see my agent."