Soccer Superstar Pillows

"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."

Football players with The Frilly Knicker Shop on their shirts, "I wish we could change our sponsor"

Pele

Footballers - Zinadine Zidane

Lionel Messi

Diego Maradona

Football Eyetests

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

Professional football.

"The coach said that you play like Ronaldo? Ha! You loser! He told me I play like Chloe Kelly!"

Anders Iniesta

Goal

"The manager wants to make the most of our combined talents."

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

A woman watches football on her computer.

"Oi!"

Footballer tattoos

Arturo Vidal

Jamie Vardy

Jack Grealish

Callum Hudson-Odoi

Declan Rice

Wilfried Zaha

Jack Grealish

Cristiano Ronaldo

N'Golo Kante

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Footballers - Jaap Staam

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.

Diego Maradona

Gareth Bale

Football Applause

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Soccer coach of the year.