Professional Football Player Pillows

"Today a pro football player said he did not stand for the national anthem because his closed head injury makes him dizzy when he stands up."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Fly Football

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Punt Cake

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Bears

Saving a Heart

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Kenny Dalglish

"Uptight End"

Currently Boston

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

Football Crazy strip six

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'I think I've scored.'

Centaur Forward