Nfl Players Pillows

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Punt Cake

If nobody had invented graphics

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Bears

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Uptight End"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

The Goalkeeper

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Improvised Dentistry.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

Football

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Football player taking the ball home.

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Now what?!'

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'