Nfl Player Gifts

'Thank goodness... I thought I was having another concussion!'

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

'They're gonna punt. ... Release the special teams.'

'Well, he's got all the right tools, but the big question remains: Can he play quarterback in the NFL?'

Tom Brady retires after finally seeing his shadow

NFL scandal by gender violence.

Would Obama let his son go to war?

'Go out and win one to maintain your current lifestyles.'

'I used to play football for the love of the game. But now, in the pros, it's all just one big business.'

'Guns don't kill people...NFL players with concussions kill people...'

"My mom won't let me play football...she says it's too dangerous and violent."

"Thought they took care of that problem!"

"I finally had to come out and admit the connection between NFL football and brain damage..."

"Staff support"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Welcome to the Team

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Punt Cake

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

Bears

A married couple share the same pole vault.