Newborn Nakers Gifts

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Batman's Baby

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"It's a good boy!"

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Mime Baby

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

Maternity tattoos

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

"He takes after your mother"

"Triple whammy."

'Nice bling!'

A couple with a new baby

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

Birth of a superhero

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

Covid Babies