Newborn Nakers Pillows

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Mime Baby

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

Maternity tattoos

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

"He takes after your mother"

'No, I've not got names for them but I've got one for my husband!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

A couple with a new baby

"Triple whammy."

'Nice bling!'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Birth of a superhero

"I don't get it, Susan... I've been an obstetrician for 20 years and I've never had a baby named after me!"

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

Covid Babies

Kate realised that having a child with a really tall father did have its advantages.