Newborn Nanny Pillows

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"I'm bored."

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."