Nannies Pillows

Kid screaming 'I want a supernanny!'

"The kids just played quietly all night, like kids do."

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

Nanny state.

'My credentials as a nanny? Trust me, I have a lot of experience in raising kids...'

Toilet Training

Fitness Programme for babies

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"But it's been five whole minutes! How can you still be mad?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

The Baby Walker

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'