Nature Nannies Pillows

"At what level membership can we put you down for 'Foliage,' 'Lawn,' or 'Fertilizer'?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

The Baby Walker

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Coping with a strong-willed child

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Rocking Horse

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'