Nature Nannies Pillows

"At what level membership can we put you down for 'Foliage,' 'Lawn,' or 'Fertilizer'?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Coping with a strong-willed child

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Rocking Horse

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"I had to skip my workout."