Nostalgic Nannies Pillows

'We have to get them out more.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Werewolves of London..."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Fitness Programme for babies

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'I thought you wanted him to have all the things you never had.'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Toilet Training

'Have you been giving them too many tweets again?'

"Junior is so cute playing with his building blocks."

1998: A Look Back

"Drat!"

Still living with parents....

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

"Aww! look how small your nose was when we first got married."

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

"I won't be needing you this year."

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

"When I bought him, I went for craftsmanship. Now I wish I had gone for snuggliness."

Sitting Out the Lambada

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

'Second childhood, eh?'

'But it's my favourite jumper...'

"But it's been five whole minutes! How can you still be mad?"

'I don't enjoy 'this little piggy' all that much, but my Dad gets a kick out of it.'

'Here son, let me tie your shoe strings before you get your diploma.'

"Round up the usual suspects."

"My parents are the same way. Lots of ostentatious child-rearing, very little direct nurturing."

"The kids just played quietly all night, like kids do."