Nanny Hired Pillows

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"I'm bored."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'I'm on my way!'

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"I had to skip my workout."