Newborn Nerd Gifts

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

John Bunyan

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

WiFi Signals

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

Moby Dick

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

Jack London

Addicted to reading

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Batman's Baby

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Reading

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

All-Purpose Obamatoon

Corporate Greed.

"Shall I buy you a manual typewriter and break your legs?"

The IRS emptied my pouch.