Bed Nerd Gifts

Bed & Bedbugs.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Ascent of Machine.

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

Vaccine

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Intellectual Property

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"