Newborn Nudgers Gifts

Maternity. Which one is yours?

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'That was fun!'

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Jonathan was so sleep deprived after the arrival of his baby that he accidentally burped a workmate.

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Mime Baby

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"It's a good boy!"

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

Maternity tattoos

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

"Triple whammy."

Birth of a superhero

Covid Babies

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."