Newborn Nudgers Gifts

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

A midwife holding a baby

'That was fun!'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Jonathan was so sleep deprived after the arrival of his baby that he accidentally burped a workmate.

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Mime Baby

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"No, they didn't live happily ever after, but they fared pretty well relative to every other miserable slop in the Dark Ages."

Maternity tattoos

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

"Triple whammy."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Covid Babies

Birth of a superhero

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

Kate realised that having a child with a really tall father did have its advantages.

'I march to a different arithmetic.'