New Pregnancy Gifts

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

baby sweetcorn...

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pool attached to child's bed.

Interior design trends for parents....

"She's been so creative lately."

Late night teddy reading

A midwife holding a baby

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'