New Pregnancy T-Shirts

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

baby sweetcorn...

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Late night teddy reading

Pool attached to child's bed.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Interior design trends for parents....

"She's been so creative lately."

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Swinging on a star.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)