New Art Exhibit Opening T-Shirts

'Goodness, no! It's for an exhibit at the art gallery down the street.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

It's a call from Tate modern.

Candle Portraits.

Painting taking root...

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Picasso: The Early Years

Creation of Red Wine

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'I think it's the best thing you've ever done!'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Private Viewing

"I read 'Art News.'"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

Instant art

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

'You're no Pollock.'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'