New Age Medicine Fan Gifts

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

New Age Store.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

"Trepanning for gold"

Vaccine race

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

Dr. Glitch. Eye, ear, nose and USB port.

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

Freak Accident Specialist

"I go home today. They cured me using this new miracle drug. I'm afraid it'll be years before it's approved for humans."

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

"Well it's not so much an ITCH, more a slight irritation, what could it be?"

'It's ironic: I'm a carnivore, but my stomach pains were cured by a herbalist...'

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

Porcupine Acupuncture

Faith Healer next to the Emergency Room at a fair.

"You may hear a few wise cracks."

Frog Eating Fly.

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'It's just in from the rainforest, so there may still be some roots and stems in it.'

How does that feel? Inaccupuncture.

'He was such a health nut. Died of all natural causes.'

Where chiropractors go on holiday