New Age Medicine Fan T-Shirts

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

New Age Store.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"Trepanning for gold"

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

Vaccine race

An unlicensed acupuncturist

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"I go home today. They cured me using this new miracle drug. I'm afraid it'll be years before it's approved for humans."

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

'It's ironic: I'm a carnivore, but my stomach pains were cured by a herbalist...'

"Well it's not so much an ITCH, more a slight irritation, what could it be?"

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

Porcupine Acupuncture

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

Frog Eating Fly.

Faith Healer next to the Emergency Room at a fair.

'It's just in from the rainforest, so there may still be some roots and stems in it.'

'He was such a health nut. Died of all natural causes.'

Where chiropractors go on holiday

'I'm a holistic dentist, Mrs. McPhee -- You'll have to disrobe.'