New Age Fan Gifts

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"We're following Carrot Top."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

Old rocker.

'Man...You age great!'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

The Da Vinci Cod

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

"Do you do much walking?"

You're my Venus

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"Now that I've invented it, I have-this odd compulsion to hold it in my hand whenever I go and glance at it incessantly."

The Inner Dog.

The end of innocence

"I just don't know what we'd have done without our subscription these past 25 years."

How hit songs get their names