New Age Fan Gifts

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Old rocker.

The Da Vinci Cod

'Man...You age great!'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Do you do much walking?"

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

The Inner Dog.

"Now that I've invented it, I have-this odd compulsion to hold it in my hand whenever I go and glance at it incessantly."

The end of innocence

The New Age Dentist.

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

Rembrandt's Selfies