New Age Aficionados Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Boy on father's knee

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

The end of innocence

The Inner Dog.

The New Age Dentist.

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

New Age Pit Bull

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

New Age Anatomy...

Apple Kiss

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"We're still working out the numerology for a name."

"All the good band names are taken by microbreweries."

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

'I gave Amy Tilly a box of candy, and she's going to be my valentine until it's gone.'

"They say you're only as old as your face."

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

'Good grief!! You're here already..?!'

'Isn't it funny how the older we get, the more we become like our mothers?'

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

'This would make a great back massager.'

"There is a man at the door who needs seventeen dollars to buy some sweet grass to burn as a spiritual cleansing agent during his prayer ceremonies."

New Milks