Alternative Aficionados Gifts

New Milks

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Giant Monster in Bath

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

Tough Teddies

Ralph Stanley

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

'After we had him declawed he started taking on a tougher persona to compensate.'

'Do you know who this is, Little Spike?'

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

Marilyn Manson Fan.

"I was in corporate sales for years but then I realized, I'm a gatherer not a hunter."

"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."

'They're playing our song.'

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

Marilyn Manson

Whatever

For Witches of a Certain Age

"I'm nostalgic for the print media."

'Help out a fellow non-conformist?'

"Believe me, everyone at the bank envies our simple lifestyle."

"First it was a real one. Then artificial. Now it's completely conceptual."

Bird Watching. . . Nude Beach

"I'll be doing my deliveries naked this year, Mrs. Claus!!"

"...I hate mainstream music."

"Don’t think of it as a retirement community, think of it as a cave."

'I had my tattoo removed!'

Torturers punch card is punched by enthusiastic prisoner.

Vegetarian Special: Gingerbread Men.

The Last Cabinet Meeting of the Ex-Ministers

"Oh, BUDDHIST camp. Our bad, Cap'n."

CBD District

"I'm vegetarian now, the next time you kill something can you pick me up a salad?"

David Bowie