Alternative Medicine Fans Gifts

'It's ironic: I'm a carnivore, but my stomach pains were cured by a herbalist...'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Alternative Medicine.

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"My joints... are almost done"

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

Acupressure Gauge

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

Cowboy Acupuncture

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."