Alternative Medicine Fans Gifts

'It's ironic: I'm a carnivore, but my stomach pains were cured by a herbalist...'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Alternative Medicine.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

Witch Doctor

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"My joints... are almost done"

An unlicensed acupuncturist

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

Cowboy Acupuncture

Acupressure Gauge

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."