Alternative Medicine Aficionado Gifts

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Acupuncture is REALLY helping to control my appetite.'

1999 Influenza Chic.

Alternative Medicine

Clearance.

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'You have too much yin, so I'm going to give you some yang.'

'If his mask scared you, just wit 'till you get his bill.'

"Hey, I feel great!. . . I think you guys have just invented acupuncture!"

"Have you tried acupuncture. . .?"

Olive Oil Medicine

"Do you think acupuncture would cure my pins and needles?"

Homeopathic trousers.

'Spend any time in Africa Doctor?'

"The copper bracelet therapy didn't alleviate my pain, but the diamond and sapphire bracelet therapy is doing wonders."

"My diagnostics confirm you are suffering from all nine parasitic worms! I'm unsure whether to use acupuncture, herbs or take you fishing and use you as bait!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Alternative Medicine.

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"My joints... are almost done"

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.