Medicine Magic Fan Gifts

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'Will you be wanting this?'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

"Trepanning for gold"

"One thing I can tell you - it's not covid."

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

Obstetrics.

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

"There's been a medical breakthrough that can help your condition. Unfortunately, you need an insurance breakthrough."

Take your daughter to work day: 'Can you say 'intestines'?'

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

'It's a simple operation. You'll be good as old in no time.'

'I think I have a rash, but being a leopard it's difficult to tell where.'

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'Would you believe that somebody asked me to deliver their mail yesterday Where did that come from'

Magical box of chocolates.

Therapist with a jack-o-lantern head talks to their patient who is a witch.

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'A giant killer macrophage! Doctor, this is madness!'

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

"Take one three times a day after meals."

"Well it's not so much an ITCH, more a slight irritation, what could it be?"

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"Get Doc Weston and tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight."

Over the last year I've come to have a new opinion about what real strength is.