Medical Marvels Fan Gifts

'A giant killer macrophage! Doctor, this is madness!'

line of life

'Will you be wanting this?'

2021

"His first out-of-body experience."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."