Medical Marvel Lover Gifts

"I'm not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it was a placebo."

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

"It would be a great honor for me to be counted as one of your successes."

'With robot-assisted microsurgery, I don't even have to be in the same room. I won't have to hear you screaming.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

'Heart transplants, yes. Brain transplants, no.'

'Now don't go out if it's windy!'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Nothing to worry about Mr. Dickens. This is the future of prostate examination."

Ultrasound. . . AKA: Womb Zoom

Thank You to Vaccinators

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"You wait twelve month's, and then five come along all at once!"

"Oddly enough it looks like you made 98.6 million last year from the talking medical thermometer you invented."

A runner crosses the finish line chased by a nurse.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

'Does it hurt when I do that?'

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'To be honest, Mr. Thompson, yours is the worst case of trapped wind I've ever come across.'

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."