Medical Marvel Admirer Gifts

'The uterus transplant was a success. I'm sure you'll find your husband much more understanding now.'

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

"I see where dogs could sniff out lung cancer with 97% accuracy."

'I've always wanted to see inside an x-ray machine.'

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal eye drops you're using.'

'Was that the only balling gun you had with you, Doctor?'

'Reviewers say it has ups and downs...'

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

The uplifting nurse.

"While invisibility wasn't anticipated, I did warn you there could be unknown side-effects with experimental drugs!"

"Thank you for taking part in our medical trials. It's nothing to worry about we just need to borrow your brain for a couple of hours!"

"I'll be honest with you, I have no idea what half of this equipment does, but it looks pretty cool, don't you think?"

The docs just install the artificial heart. We at Al's garage do the maintenance on the battery.

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

Flying NHS Walk-in Centre

Alexander Fleming

"It's a weed killer that kills cancer."

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Medical Miracle or Street Performance

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

We were thinking, for the next back surgery, maybe it would be easier just to roll the patient over.

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

Richard the Pigheart

2021

"His first out-of-body experience."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."