Medical Marvel Fan Gifts

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

'Hi, name and birthday, please!'

'I think I have a rash, but being a leopard it's difficult to tell where.'

"Or perhaps Heimlich himself."

Over the last year I've come to have a new opinion about what real strength is.

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

'I strongly recommend a surgeon who can putt over one who hits the long drive.'

Take your daughter to work day: 'Can you say 'intestines'?'

Life Support and Death

"She's got it. By George she's got it!"

"There's been a medical breakthrough that can help your condition. Unfortunately, you need an insurance breakthrough."

"One thing I can tell you - it's not covid."

2021

"His first out-of-body experience."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'