Natural Medicine Fan Gifts

How does that feel? Inaccupuncture.

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

New Age Store.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

Ariel prepares for her big date.

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

Natural Medicines

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"Too hard?"

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

'Science will never find a cure for the common cold, That's all the job security I need,'

'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

'It says right here, sir, three times as much iron as other supplements.'

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Be In Need of Transplant Organs?

"You may hear a few wise cracks."