Natural Medicine Fan Pillows

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

New Age Store.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

Ariel prepares for her big date.

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

Natural Medicines

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'

'I've become resistant to antibiotics, but what I dread is a shot of whisky in a cup of hot tea.'

"Too hard?"

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

'Science will never find a cure for the common cold, That's all the job security I need,'

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

'It says right here, sir, three times as much iron as other supplements.'

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

'in the computer model the only side effect was a dry mouth.'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Frog Eating Fly.

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

Faith Healer next to the Emergency Room at a fair.