Alternative Remedy Fan Pillows

'I have the perfect cure for you.'

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Krazy straw"

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Ariel prepares for her big date.

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'

Chair massages.

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"Try taking baby steps."