Traditional Remedy Fan Gifts

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

"I'm having my entrails read."

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Krazy straw"

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Ariel prepares for her big date.

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'