Unconventional Therapy Fan Gifts

"Krazy straw"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'