Unconventional Therapy Fan Pillows

"Krazy straw"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

DIY marriage counseling.

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."