Therapy Fans Pillows

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"Krazy straw"

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"Say these things, don't think them!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'