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Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

DIY marriage counseling.

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Krazy straw"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."