Light Therapy Fan Gifts

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

Hot Pie Therapy

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

'Have you been working out?'

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"Krazy straw"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'