Nervous Patient Gifts

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"Why have you taken your clothes off?... Aren't you the doctor?!"

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

Nervous Oral Testing

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"It's for his shakes."

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

'I rushed right over from my third try at the bar exam as soon as I heard you were here.'

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

Idlewild.

For high school guys who are apprehensive about pinning a corsage on their date comes 'Katie Corsage.'

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

'Your first major investment decision?'

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

Dentistry jokes.

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.