Nervous Patient Camaraderie Gifts

"It's for his shakes."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

Workplace Shinanigans

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

The New Age Dentist.

'In case the guys organize a game.'

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

'They've been carpooling together for 30 years.'

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

"That reminds me, I was going to get my daughter piano lessons!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

Dentistry jokes.

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

Nurses watching America's Funniest Bandage Removals.

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

'Hard morning, Patricia?'

"Tell me if this hurts."

"Yeah, it's not cheap. But Big Pharma's depending on you."

"The bad news is you do have a lump the size of a golf ball. The good news is my tests indicate it's just a golf ball."

You DID hit a nerve, doctor!'

'I believe that laughter is the best medicine. Now, if you'll bend over, Mr. Happy will perform your prostate exam.'

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

It wasn't really an office romance. They just liked to look out for each other.

'You're becoming known around here as Mr. Nice Guy.'