Nervous Presenter Gifts

"Our next speaker looked into the abyss and made a few notes."

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'The sun... hung bel... belligerently... over the... dust... dusty town...'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

"Tough group."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

The Zen of Regulation

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

'Your first major investment decision?'

'Test Pilot.'

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

Foot in ice cube.