Nervous Talkers Gifts

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

"Tough group."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"My one-man band is breaking up."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

"Same here. It's my first time too."

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

'Your first major investment decision?'

Expense Culture Advice.

"Emergency stop! I'll tick that."

Choose your social anxiety coping mechanism!

"This is what I did on my summer vacation....please hold your questions till the end."

Meet Jim, you've a lot in common...he's an insufferable bore as well...

'Don't you talk back to me like that!'

Mother Nature

It's rude to laugh behind someone's back. Unless it happens to be a painfully shy comedian. Then it's rude not to.

"Curtain in five minutes, Dad!"

'The sun... hung bel... belligerently... over the... dust... dusty town...'

I'd prefer to do my test on foot.