Nervous Presenters Gifts

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

'Fine presentation, Matthews, but, lose the wiggle dance.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

"Tough group."

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

The Zen of Regulation

'I'm shaking a bit!'

'Your first major investment decision?'

"Same here. It's my first time too."

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

Foot in ice cube.

It's rude to laugh behind someone's back. Unless it happens to be a painfully shy comedian. Then it's rude not to.

'The sun... hung bel... belligerently... over the... dust... dusty town...'

"This is what I did on my summer vacation....please hold your questions till the end."

"Emergency stop! I'll tick that."

"Curtain in five minutes, Dad!"

'Keep an eye on Jimmy the Shark during today's meeting. You can always tell if he's planning a double-cross by the way he fidgets with his iPhone.'

'You treated me for Dow 13,000 phobia on the way up. Now it's hitting 13,000 again on the way down!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. I