Nervous Spokesman Gifts

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'How fast can you hype?'

"National security adviser"

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'We're out of duct tape.'

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"I don't think of it as an environmental disaster, I think of it as inventing extinct animals."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

'Hopkins, I want you to write me an inspiring, dynamic speech that bears my unmistakable stamp of genius.'

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."

Wordplay: Spokesperson.

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Tough group."

"Must be another white house spokesman..."

"The government is confident it has its numbers right. . . we're just not sure what order to put them in."

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)