Nervous Talker Gifts

"Did someone just have verbal diarrhoea?"

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Half-crazed with nerves Petey Otterloop awaits the start of the winter concert.'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Unfortunately, medical science hasn't come up with a cure for 'stock market jitters.'

"Tough group."

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'It looks like someone tried to pronounce 'Rorschach' with a mouthful of soup.'

'That's just for videos, Jeffrey -- book reports don't have to have FBI warnings.'

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

'No matter how often I do the show, I still suffer from stage fright...'

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

"Our next act...Cruzini, the world's greatest magician!"

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

'Your first major investment decision?'

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

"This is what I did on my summer vacation....please hold your questions till the end."

Choose your social anxiety coping mechanism!