Nervous Traveler Gifts

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

'But Madam, I can't ask the Captain to turn the plane back because you're not sure that you turned off your oven...'

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

"Woah. Looks like someone's planning on leaving the country."

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

"What's the saying - 'A journey of 1,000 miles begins with worrying that you forget something.'?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Airplane Mode.

Injured backpacker.

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

Ryanair refunds

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

Scared as Hell Airlines.

How to deal with rude customers.

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

"I hate travel."

This definitely qualifies as a holiday from hell.

'Test Pilot.'

Intelligent Navigation Device...

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

Foot in ice cube.

"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'